Weo Weo Weeaboos

Turtles count it off with this joke: Why did Dr. Sue rip Jimmy's head off?

She wanted to get ahead in life. 
Ba dum KCHHHHHHH (the sound of you dying)

Have you ever played one of those japanese dating simulations? Well I haven't so whatever your answer is we can't really talk about that. I think the closest is like Fate Stay Night, where you master Fate (that doesn't sound like anything else, not at all) and get gates of babyl'owned. 

I had a much better picture in mind than this but unfortunately I couldn't find it. (It was Roa with the caption "Play too many H games and you'll end up looking like this")

According to manga (always a reliable source of information) playing too much of them turns you into some sort of creature like Thaddeus McMichael or whatever his name was.
You then start buying the merchandise and posting embarrassing "conversations" on fagbook that go like this-

[Picture of me holding suggestive body pillow]
Waifu: baka kawaii bluh
Me: here's me with my proud graduate of tendercuddles preschool
Waifu: bluh bluh bluh i'm ugly bluh bluh
Me: o you're not that bad, blah
Waifu: I-It's not like I like you o-or anything s-stupid like that!
Me: stop being tsundere

Waifu: You're right, I am Gasai Yuno and I won't have any part of this
Me: JESUS HENNA CHRIST MARJORIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE STOVEPOT AHHHHHHHHHHH
Yuno: So it turns out stainless steel cleaves through human bone as easily as cooked pork, who knew?
Barney the Dinosaur: It's a happy ending, Mister Rogers!
Captain America: What a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

I think I got the tropes mixed up there...oh well, we learned something new today. Or did we? We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours. So whassit gon' be, Tom?

Yeah man, if you get a future diary, you gotta tell Yuno she can't have your booty.
Cleverbot...I can't believe I just wrote this.