Doooooruuuu

Today is a very meaningful, momentous day in my life.
Yep, you guessed it: It's the day that my head was twisted horribly out of shape by incompetent medical personnel, forcing me to live as a malformed wretch.

(What's that? You think it's him? Well......actually, it's Baelish. But he's still at the top of my list.)

I will show them what they deserve for such an affront upon....THE KING 

OOAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! MAH BOI
ugh, my eyes hurt....

The post title comes from this weird sound effect I heard often when I was playing some game, I think it was either Avernum or Stone Soup Dungeon Crawl. Most likely Avernum.
Sorry, I'm really exhausted from not sleeping last night and doing a ton of stuff this afternoon so that'll be all, folks.

"MERRY KWANZAAA!!!!!" --stickman

Jolly McFollies

I bet you've been eagerly awaiting the next installment of The Collection....
Well too bad, it won't be shown this week. See, I'm doing you a mercy by telling you this right now instead of at the end of this post so you wouldn't have to read through all my mindless drivel only to be disappointed. 

Correction: What I meant is, I'm doing you a favor, "mercy" doesn't really make sense in this context...OR DOES IT????

Is this the answer, or yet another question?

Now I'm worried that my posts are turning into just flavor text for the silly picture repost of the day. But that's fine, I'm sure even if it was like that, they would make fine Magic The Gathering cards! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooohh

credit to Ravenide

this doesn't deserve credit

none of that was very funny actually. :(

Catch 22

"Catch 22" is a phenomenon describing the extremely addicting(catchy) tune and lyrics of Taylor Swift's hit song, 22.......

You can't get it out of your head, but I know you want toooo
Everything will be all right, let's just keep prancin like- waaaait a minute

What if I don't wanna log in facebook? There's no button to close the dialog! Clicking outside the box does nothing! What kind of sick joke is this? 
YOU GOTTA LET ME OUTTA HERE FAGBOOK!!!! THIS IS DETAINMENT WITHOUT CHARGE!
LET MY PEOPLES GO!!!!

Ok, here's the moment you've been waiting for...the moment where I reveal the first item in....THE COLLECTION! 

BEHOLD...............THE STICK!!!

And, In an even- *cough* excuse me, In an even more shocking development, all the white question marks are gone. Uh. I guess that isn't a more shocking development, I didn't feel like putting them in this time. 

Well, tune in next time to find out if I'll reveal the second elusive item in the Collection! I bet you just can't wait, can you?

The Monkey

Hay guys what's going on in- OH LAWD

One life, one love. Summer is almost over, and Riot only reveals the summer skin set today. I guess I'm just relieved that a certain skin wasn't put on hiatus.

In my novel/comic writing quest, I've learned that showing the audience a set of hidden things or people that will be revealed piece by piece as the story progresses is a great device to create suspense and discussion. It's used by the webcomic Shotgun Shuffle as well as the more obscure Dungeons and Demacians 3rd Edition thread on the LoL forums by Captain Marvelous.

So without further ado, I present to you a set of my own devising....THE COLLECTION!!!

What sort of fabulous things could these black circles with question marks possibly hide? You'll just have to wait until next time to find out!

Wiffle biffle

I've been thinking about writing a personal journal of my ghetto life. A state funded autobiography for when I'm rich and famous so that people can read it and go "wow this guy had it tough". Kind of like this one:

A delightful children's novel filled with good clean fun. My favorite character is Fregley.

Except that, I don't really have it tough. I find that most of the major problems I have were created or exacerbated to the exalted rank of Major by myself.
You know what they say, "Enemy own your are worst you Chevrolet Escalon"

....

No, don't even think about it. I am not copy pasting this blog straight into a published hardcover.
Unless I was paid enough.....

August Disgust

Man, I haven't had much motivation to post this month. I guess I've gradually lumped blogging into the "boring work/chores to procrastinate on" category in my mind's eye. 

Have you experienced a great lack of motivation lately? Fear not, for I have a solution. 
 

Do not be alarmed. This is actually a depiction of what the solution will do to your worst enemy.

To do this, you will need:

• About 50 vials full of assorted prescription drugs, including caffeine pills, 5 hour energy, Advair, Viagra, Prevacid, and Tums.
• The complete season 5 of Stargate Universe
• Genuine hair from the nose of Lebron James

It shouldn't take too long to acquire these items. I'll wait.

Just kidding, time waits for no one. 
I'm not time but I certainly subscribe to the same philosophy.

Now that you have gathered these commodities around you, it's time for the physio portion of this exercise. Begin by hunching over and crooking your eyebrows. Take a deep breath and proceed to snort as if you were the fiercest animal(with a nose) that you can imagine. Continue snorting for 2 minutes. Do not stop halfway, no matter who is looking at you strangely.

For the finishing touch, we will use the popular slogan of a well known explosives manufacturer, "Jast Do it" by Spikey. Think about it exclaiming it as loudly as you can.
Think as long and hard as you want, because there's no such thing as being too prepared.

 Ready? Alright, let's go through it together....

JAASST DOOO EEET 

DOOO EEET

DOOO EEET

DOO EET

DOO EET 

Is that your final answer?