Roland 'Itiative is my buddy too

Alright it's admission time. Envision me standing before you, pulling out a metal folding chair. You cower in fear at the sight, but I mean you no harm. I unfold and deploy the chair, turning it around. I then sit backwards in the chair and rest my arms on top of the back. Just keepin' it real while I serve some fresh hot gonads. I mean donuts. 

copywrong 200G mandrew wussy

I think I might have said in my more serious old abandoned blag that I hate tumblr. This is no longer true. It's a great place for askblags and kids who think they are "hip" or "cute" to spam and repost pages upon pages of animated GIFs. At least they don't do it here or in Church. I still have one peeve with it: It was clearly tailored to people with faster than dial up internet connections. 

....what? 

Yeah that's right, I USE DIAL UP!

The Internet came from the phones, and I am proud to stay true to its roots with my lofty one window browsing style. Its almost like Stargate level technology mayne, got those unscheduled incoming wormholes dialing in all day, e'ery day.
"I took the initiative and created the Internet" -- Al Gore, famous polyphone technician.

An inspirational quote to be sure, except instead of creating the Internet, I've regained the lead in the blogging competition that is really only a competition for me with the other aimless bloggers.

Okay, I don't really use dial up, but right now my connection is so slow it might as well be. It took me like half an hour just to cobble together all the random ass pictures and stuff for this post. But the deed 'tis done, and so this post comes to a close. I bid thee farewell

.........

Do you hear that?
They say if you listen close enough, you can still hear the beeping of the modem tone to this very day.

............


beeeep

Mobile Pig Disgusting

"Mess with the best, die like the rest" -- Official motto of the United States Marine Corpse

"Kill or be killed" -- Killary Klinton, Kill la Kill (Venezuelan dub)

I sat there staring at a blank notepad file, trying to remember what I was going to type. Then it hit me- yeah, I was going to make this blog post! It's been so rong, er so long since my fountain of gospel last spouted the holy truth. I think I still beat aimless-sensei in the absence category, 20 days is far shorter than 3 months. Wait no, the last two posts...only a day apart! 
NOH! I HAVE BEEN DEFEATED! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Togetha we could rule this city, spidahman! But instead we shall fight to tha DETH! -- Ezreal

I was going up a cramped staircase when I passed this guy with what looked like brand new black and white high top sneakers. Wanting to seem young and hip, I was about to comment "Nice kicks, DUDE" when I noticed his headwear. Is that b- buh- beats audi- RICHFAG DETECTED

Beats Audio is the premier headset for people who enjoy spending hundreds of dollars on equipment that cost about 50 cents (see what I did there, hurhurhur) to mash together in a Chinatown tearshop.

I have to wonder who the artist was behind those Angel Lague advertisements that seem to be all over the internapz, er internet these days(Why server always down when they say?).  They must be feeling so proud of themselves right now. This is a prime example justifying my stern policy to never try out browser based games, they have a habit of excluding more than half of their target demographic in their marketing strategy. But I might make one small exception...

Sorry that wasn't actually it, I couldn't find that specific ad again. It was a fagbook ad about league of ogres or something really onion-y like that.

Ketchup is for plebeians

I was sitting at a table, minding my own business(srs bsns if u know wut I meen) when this man offensively barges in and asks, "Hi, is somebody- are you using this chair?"
To which I replied "Of course I am, I happen to be sitting in it at this very moment."
"No, I mean this one." He indicated the chair on the other side of the table.
"Yes, I'll be sitting in that one in a few minutes."
This confused him for the 10 seconds I needed to make- UGH THAT PILLAR LOOKS DISGUSTING

its certainly not made of trabaharis

Sorry I got distracted there. Anyways, I was drinking orange juice, but it usually reacts with my stomach acid to create a vile mixture that burns my mouth during spontaneous regurgitation actions, making me regret having such a good breakfast. Thus when I went to refill my cup I chose to have apple juice instead. 

Sometimes, you just have these moments in life, the ones you want to save, archive, commit to memory and cherish forever. I want to tell you about one I had just a few days ago. I was brushing my teeth, hopping around like a madman to take my mind off the facts that my bladder was full to bursting and the lack of a nearby restroom while half singing, half embarrassed-humming Space Jam Misery by Maroon Johnny.

Also, I have some great news: The Leaguemans nickname page is finally up! Well, hopefully it is by the time you read this. Which is probably several years after I wrote this. :(

PS. Trabaharis is an inside joke. If you're outside and want to be let in, too bad. Train's gone, Pool's closed, etc.