A couple days ago (because I always take a few days to get around to writing this up) I had a dream in which I had traveled to this Egypt-like place with my dad and some other guys. This was probably not influenced by anything, especially not a particular work of fiction. It's useless to try and guess. Useless, useless, useless. It was night time in a vast desert with various shiny buildings sparsely scattered around. We chose to go to this big, plain stone pyramid. There was a big square opening in the center, and we all walked in. It was unlit, there was something large writhing in the darkness, and I got an immense feeling of foreboding. I recalled my horror movie dream policy of "start running before bad things even happen" and immediately high tailed it out of there before people even started dying. I ran out into the desert and as usual my running was horrifically slow, as if I was exhausted. I'm surmising this is because I'm actually trying to run in my sleep and the bed is impeding my limbs.
Suddenly it was daytime, and all the townsfolk started panicking because a sandstorm was approaching on the horizon. I saw that huge cloud of dust with a scary face like on the cover of The Mummy movie, no not that one, I mean the 1999 version with Brendan Fraser (praised be his name).
I huddled in this small alcove in an alleyway, but its protection proved to be insufficient. The first wave of the storm hit, because this storm comes in waves. The experience was akin to being hit with Boomer bile in Left 4 Dead, except it was sand and my outer layers were being ground off. The wave passed, giving me a brief respite, but I knew I wasn't likely to survive the second wave, completely exposed as I was. Lord knows what the fifth wave would have done. Probably turn me into some lovesick little girl.
I decided to take shelter in this building that was like a fusion of a pharmacy and a government DMV type facility. The situation escalated when some rough looking folks came in looking for me, and I had to slip out again.
My recollection of what transpired after that is fuzzy but at some point I was walking around a Korean harbor at sunset looking for fountains and other perverted stuff.
I don't usually make spelling mistakes, at least not ones that I don't notice and correct immediately. Today I was typing quadruped into the search engine but spelled it "quadraped" instead and only noticed after hitting enter. Talk about Freudian slips. It just sounds so extreme though if you think about it: QUAD RAPED! Like four rapes in a row, or rape with an ATV. Oh yeah, I forgot to warn you guys: this blog post mentions rape. Earlier I was at the mall, seeing how much more fashionable everyone else was compared to me. Clad in a blue collared t-shirt and khaki shorts, I realized I was the spitting image of a Best Buy employee. If there was a Best Buy nearby I'd probably get kicked out because they'd think I was trying that Geek Squad impersonation prank a bunch of people tried a couple years back.
Oh, it was actually more than a decade ago, so chances are you don't know what I'm referring to. This'll get you up to speed:
https://improveverywhere.com/2006/04/23/best-buy/
I thought my worries were unfounded, as this mall didn't have enough space for a Best Buy store. But then I turned a corner and lo and behold, there was a Best Buy Mobile!
While I was there I also noticed that the Chick-fil-a had been replaced by a House of Kabob. Not sure when that happened, but its almost like a direct cultural swap occurred. Gonna have to get those waffle fries elsewhere now.
It's around 10 o'clock in the morning, and all's well. I've been watching the night slowly turn to day for the past four hours in the comfort of my bed. This is primarily due to a bout of insomnia preventing me from sleeping in on the weekend.I've already finished reading all of the books I got, and backed up my files on ye olde external drive, so I once again return to the sustaining solace of the internet.
Let's talk about cringy children's book authors. Is it just me, or does Rick Riordan look a lot like DJ MacHale? It could be the pose, their similar professions, or maybe I'm not as good at telling white folks apart as I thought I was. Here's a side by side comparison, so you can decide for yourself: Uncanny, isn't it? But then you have this magnificent bastard:
This man is my hero.
Holy crap I just slacked off for half an hour from finishing this post. Let me just leave you with something nice for the road, before the hour changes and I must depart to greener shores.
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