Goat&CatScans: Retired Heroes Chapter 39 + Retrospective

It began with a Jojo reference, and it'll end with one.

It's been a long road... getting from there to here

It's been a long time... but my time is finally near

Hey hey people, Cory in the House. It's with a heavy heart that I bring to you today the 39th and final chapter of Retired Heroes. That's right, this is the last one. It doesn't seem like we'll be getting any more of this manhua in the foreseeable future as the publisher has gone out of business or something, so this is where we're stopping as well. But enough for that, let's get the actual chapter links out of the way before I start waxing poetic.

Chapter 39: https://www.mediafire.com/file/b38e4zdfq0dysdi/Chapter_39.zip/filehttps://www.mediafire.com/file/b38e4zdfq0dysdi/Chapter_39.zip/filehttps://www.mediafire.com/file/b38e4zdfq0dysdi/Chapter_39.zip/file
https://www.mediafire.com/file/b38e4zdfq0dysdi/Chapter_39.zip/filehttps://www.mediafire.com/file/b38e4zdfq0dysdi/Chapter_39.zip/file

All Chapters: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/4o5obdo2l3198/Retired_Heroes_Translation_Project

Buy us a Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/goatncatscans 

<=== Spoilers ahead!! ===>

So now that you've read the chapter you're probably thinking some things. I know, LinJie left some loose plot ends lying around in anticipation of a second sequel. I'm disappointed too. What happened to Tanya? Did Shok really turn evil? Was Shay conceived on screen? Alas, the world may never know. For everyone's sake I do hope this continues at some point.

But man, what a ride it's been! This project lasted a hell of a lot longer than I ever expected, a journey spanning more than a year and a half. When I first started on this back in October 2018 I was a broke college student who just played video games all day. Now I have a degree, a job, and pretty soon a place to call my own. As you can see, scanlating really builds character and enriches one's life. It will transform you into a manly Adonis. Seriously though, it also inspired me to start learning Chinese again. Maybe one day I'll be able to read the raws unaided.

We made some friends along the way too. The catfolk of Nekyou Scanlation provided a lot of resources and really helped to legitimize Goat&Cat's operations, in particular Blue, Wordref, and WanderingMacrophage. It was also through Nekyou that I discovered the gaming community known as Cosy Inn, which is host to its own gallery of intriguing characters.

I've also developed a greater appreciation for scanlators in general. When I'm reading stuff on MangaDex I now actually read the credits pages of a lot of chapters instead of just skipping them, and learned about the man behind the manga (scanlation) so to speak. Some of them are really interesting people. Some of them are almost as funny and witty as me. Almost.

So what does the future hold for Goat & Cat Scans? Well, we don't have any other works to translate. I'm open to any suggestions you may have, but they have to be in Chinese, and I'd have to wrangle the Cat into being on board with it. He tells me he'd rather do light novels instead of manhua. But barring any suggestions, this blog will now be returning to its regularly scheduled programming of shitposts and my personal diary entries.

One last shoutout to YOU, the readers who have stuck with us for all this time. It was pretty amazing knowing someone out there was actually reading(and possibly even enjoying) what we were doing. If we ever do anything else, I hope you'll follow us on that too.

Until then, so long, and thanks for all the fish!

-- Coriasis, the GOAT of Goat&CatScans

Goat&CatScans: Retired Heroes Chapter 30

Hey hey people, it's the big 3-0.

I quit.  ...I know she prolly couldn't do it but I ain't gonna fuck around and see if she could.

Things are continuing at a snail's pace...The Nekyou side is critically understaffed and the catman is off doing who knows what. As for me, I had to spend my evening fixing a huge flooded mess that started with a leaky bathroom faucet and escalated into having to detach the entire sink from the wall and reattach it. Multiple times.

But enough of my crappy life story, let's move on to the good news! I've included a special bonus fanart of everyone's favorite Saliy at the end of this chapter, courtesy of fledgling artist known only as "dragonlawd"! I'd meant to do so in the previous chapter but forgot about it. Here's the full version of it if you're interested:

original the content, donut steel! (4srs this time)

Chapter 30: http://www.mediafire.com/file/d4o8uascuozyiu4/Chapter_30.zip/file

Some idiot in the projects: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/4o5obdo2l3198/Retired_Heroes_Translation_Project
 

Goat&CatScans: Retired Heroes Chapter 27

Long time no see, fellow kids. It's been a busy... eight weeks? Shiieeeeet.

My boyz in the translation department have finally gotten off their asses from more "important" things like "proposal defense"(whatever that means) and "moving to another country"(>not even japan) to deliver the goods. And are these goods....good? Well as I like to say: the proof of this is left as an exercise for the reader. 

As for me, I've sold my soul and become a corporate wage-slave. I would have written this from my cellcubicle but it seems blogspot is banned.

But fear not, dear sycophants, for I have no intention of dropping this series. We'll catch up with the current release yet, "Whatever it takes" --everybody, ketchup endgame

The Next Episode, ft. Snoop Dogg aka Black Wheel:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/8608l3bh63r80k6/Chapter_27.zip/file
Drop it like it's hot:
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/4o5obdo2l3198/Retired_Heroes_Translation_Project

Personally I've really enjoyed this chapter and the previous one as they've done a lot to flesh out this wonderful world that our favorite Retired Heroes live in. Magic item creation, the power of chaos control, and of course, the pokeymans.

Bonus BTS* segment: That "social status" ribbon? I rotated it 90 degrees, it's actually vertical in the original.

*behind the scenes, not the kpop group. don't hurt me bts army :(

Goat&CatScans: The revolution will not be televised

Ladies, gentlemen, binaries and non-binaries, I bring potent portents from lands beyond.
There is no war outside our walls, and no competition to speak of. At least, not anymore.
For Goat&CatScans has made treaty with the bizarre race of catfolk that inhabit Nekyou, and a mutual understanding was achieved between us.
The scanlation of Retired Heroes will henceforth be a collaborative effort by members of both teams, and thus another compromise between quality and quantity, one that (((We))) have found satisfactory.

Additional details about this arrangement:

• No currency was exchanged, promised, or extorted as part of this agreement.
• We made this decision of our own free will, and not under duress, threat, or hypnosis of any kind.
• Please do not go looking for us or our families. We are all in safe place(s).
• Cats are cute, friendly, lovable animals, and every household should have one. For their own good.

The following video may help shed further light on the situation:

...Or it may not.

In other news: On Monday, I cut my left index finger on metal shelving earlier this week, creating a slice on the knuckle. It's scabbed over as of now. 
On Tuesday, I saw a rainbow in the evening sky around 5pm, framed by orange clouds lit by the sunset. It was short and completely vertical, going straight up.

Exfusion

 "I am 10 times more hairy than every guy I've dated LOL" --tumblr user

I was walking along a hallway today as normal, when suddenly I felt the urge to sneeze. I raised my arm up to cover the lower half of my face, as is only proper. But then I passed a few people- and suddenly the urge subsided without a trace. I'm usually a chain sneezer, but this time I didn't sneeze even once.

What could be the cause behind this unusual occurrence? Naturally my first thoughts point towards occult means. Could one of the people I passed have extended a sorcerous probe into my head and remotely snuffed out my urge to sneeze? Perhaps it was all of them, casting some unspoken ritual. How considerate of them.

Now I'm really thinking. By logical extension, would the reverse also be possible? Could you just sort of...reach into someone and give them the urge to sneeze? The ramifications are terrifying, biological warfare will never be the same.

Arrgh the flies are back

emo banana time

my room is infested with insects.
 
first there was the cricket, that hopped through the kitchen, then the bedroom floor. it's reedy mating cry has inspired many a bout of insomnia.

then there are the flies. in the dark of night they flock to my computer screen and throw off my concentration. with a steady thumb i splat one after the other, cleaning my hand and monitor after every kill, but there seems to be no end to their number.

when will this torment end?

Rekt by ogredraft

 "In the middle of September/We'd still play out in the pain" --Nickelback

Ready for a good old fashioned LIFE PRO TIP? Me neither. Thus begins another lame crappy post about mundane happenstances.

For the kiddies who don't know, overdraft is a general term for when you try to withdraw or pay out more money than your bank account has. The bank will pay out the money anyway and give you a negative balance.

For corporations, this is a useful tactic that is done deliberately for investments and to jump-start ventures. 

For individuals, this is a terrible and costly mistake. 

You can probably guess which category I fall into.

I ordered something online a couple weeks ago, but le merchant was out of stock and so it was placed on backorder. I didn't realize that my account hadn't been charged (I assumed it was like a pre-order type thing) and proceeded to make additional purchases until my account was very nearly empty. As an ostensibly financially literate adult, I only keep as much as I need right at the moment in checking accounts and the rest in higher ROI securities, so this account stayed empty for the duration. Then just yesterday, the order went through and my body was not ready for the rustling that ensued:
SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRAAAAAAAFT (fees)
My bank actually offers a free overdraft protection service, but I didn't sign up for it because I thought I was so smart. Welp.
 
I took a trip down memory lane to visit my old blog on WordPress, which only has like 5 posts so don't bother trying to find it. The content is kind of cringy but the format was actually cool, I really shouldn't have abandoned it. And so I'll be readopting this format for future posts. Look forward to it!

Until then, I'll continue wallowing in a pit of despair and self-loathing brought about by poor decision-making, and you can continue going about your own (likely more pleasant) mode of existence.

Pagoo

Let's take a trip back in time, back to when I was a wee little... being. First, imagine the chirping of crickets, and the occasional bird call. It was a hot summer day, much as it is now, and I had taken refuge from the heat in the cool interior of a library that is no longer standing.

Back then the shelves towered over my larval form, and I suspect my supervision units had left me to my own devices for a time.

My wanderings took me to a section I had never seen before. Curious, I knelt down and perused the titles on the bottom tiers. Most of them seemed to be serious, adult nonfiction, unappealing to my developing literary palate. 

Then I saw one with a strange title, one that seemed too silly to be among these serious, adult books. I pulled it out, and was greeted by a stark white book jacket, upon which the title was emblazoned in large black Times New Roman characters:

Yes, it was that timeless childhood tale that we all know and love. Although I'm not sure why the jacket cover didn't look like what it should have been. Nevertheless, I was undaunted by the cover and opened the book. As I beheld the fascinating illustrations within I was drawn into a strange, ethereal experience that defies description and memory.

Pagoo is a story encompassing the life and times of a hermit crab, from his infancy as a tiny speck swirling amidst schools of plankton to the acquisition of his first shell and beyond. Despite having not read it for many years, some of its scenes remain as vivid echoes in my mind. It was perhaps my first foray into the world of xenofiction; narratives written from a nonhuman point of view. 

Well, this was the most profound-sounding post I've ever made on this farce of a blog. Too bad I'm all out of profoundness for the day. Ta ta.

Arr Nein Kay

"Pinnochio is just a taste of his ability!" --pink haired lover boy

Have you ever had that feeling that there's something stuck in between your teeth yet no matter how hard you pick, you can't quite get it out?

firecracker hexagen

I've had this feeling for almost two days now, and at this point I'm thinking the inner edge of my tooth just got eroded for some reason. I can feel the irregularity with my tongue, but not with my teeth, and I can't see anything when I look in the mirror and shine a light down the old orifice. I must have gone through a few feet of dental floss and a millimeter of fingernail by now trying to get some relief, but the only real result I've had is making my gums bleed a little.

Ain't that a bitch?
That's heavy man.
 
Maybe it's always been like that, and I never really felt up the backside of my teeth that thoroughly with my tongue before.

Maybe it's just a plaque buildup from not brushing the backside.

Or Maybe it's Maybelline.

 

 

weylcome to weybtoon

A couple days ago (because I always take a few days to get around to writing this up) I had a dream in which I had traveled to this Egypt-like place with my dad and some other guys. This was probably not influenced by anything, especially not a particular work of fiction. It's useless to try and guess. Useless, useless, useless.

It was night time in a vast desert with various shiny buildings sparsely scattered around. We chose to go to this big, plain stone pyramid. There was a big square opening in the center, and we all walked in. It was unlit, there was something large writhing in the darkness, and I got an immense feeling of foreboding. I recalled my horror movie dream policy of "start running before bad things even happen" and immediately high tailed it out of there before people even started dying. I ran out into the desert and as usual my running was horrifically slow, as if I was exhausted. I'm surmising this is because I'm actually trying to run in my sleep and the bed is impeding my limbs.

Suddenly it was daytime, and all the townsfolk started panicking because a sandstorm was approaching on the horizon. I saw that huge cloud of dust with a scary face like on the cover of The Mummy movie, no not that one, I mean the 1999 version with Brendan Fraser (praised be his name).

I huddled in this small alcove in an alleyway, but its protection proved to be insufficient. The first wave of the storm hit, because this storm comes in waves. The experience was akin to being hit with Boomer bile in Left 4 Dead, except it was sand and my outer layers were being ground off. The wave passed, giving me a brief respite, but I knew I wasn't likely to survive the second wave, completely exposed as I was. Lord knows what the fifth wave would have done. Probably turn me into some lovesick little girl.

I decided to take shelter in this building that was like a fusion of a pharmacy and a government DMV type facility. The situation escalated when some rough looking folks came in looking for me, and I had to slip out again.

My recollection of what transpired after that is fuzzy but at some point I was walking around a Korean harbor at sunset looking for fountains and other perverted stuff.

RIP Mall

I don't usually make spelling mistakes, at least not ones that I don't notice and correct immediately. Today I was typing quadruped into the search engine but spelled it "quadraped" instead and only noticed after hitting enter. Talk about Freudian slips. It just sounds so extreme though if you think about it: QUAD RAPED! Like four rapes in a row, or rape with an ATV.

Oh yeah, I forgot to warn you guys: this blog post mentions rape.

Earlier I was at the mall, seeing how much more fashionable everyone else was compared to me. Clad in a blue collared t-shirt and khaki shorts, I realized I was the spitting image of a Best Buy employee. If there was a Best Buy nearby I'd probably get kicked out because they'd think I was trying that Geek Squad impersonation prank a bunch of people tried a couple years back. 

Oh, it was actually more than a decade ago, so chances are you don't know what I'm referring to. This'll get you up to speed:

 https://improveverywhere.com/2006/04/23/best-buy/

I thought my worries were unfounded, as this mall didn't have enough space for a Best Buy store. But then I turned a corner and lo and behold, there was a Best Buy Mobile!

While I was there I also noticed that the Chick-fil-a had been replaced by a House of Kabob. Not sure when that happened, but its almost like a direct cultural swap occurred. Gonna have to get those waffle fries elsewhere now.

Snaaaaake

I was on my way home on the sidewalk yesterday, when suddenly I heard a strange rustling by my feet. No, it was not my jimmies like you might expect, nor was it a flying lawnmower or an amused gorilla. I looked down and there appeared to be nothing, but widening my search I saw a strangely curved brown branch just off the sidewalk.

I then realized the branch was actually a snake, lying very still besides its flickering tongue. I probably should have taken a picture or something, but it was Friday and I was very done with life so I just kept walking.

March Sadness

My shoes have been squeaking way too much lately. I try to walk on carpeted and metal surfaces but sometimes there's just no avoiding those smooth tiles. Something is up with the soles, which I can't be bothered to find out. It's not raining, and they don't appear to be wet. What a puzzle. I do worry that the squeaking will aggravate nearby people, but as it turns out the person who is likely aggravated the most is me, the nearby-est person of them all. 
[Speaking of nearby people, this girl sitting nearby just farted, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]
 But let us cease this mincing of words. I know that you and I both long for those bygone halcyon days of 2013, when I would do crazy things like make 5 whole posts in a single day. I think what enabled this was that they were shorter than my average rant nowayears, and my standards were lower. Alas, perhaps we shall never see their like again in this world.

The dull static of helpless sanity

It's ten in the morning, I have a skull splitting headache and fifty other things I ought to be doing right about now. A perfect recipe for b-b-b-b-blogging, in fact.

December is essentially halfway over now, and I've just realized there's about 7 days left until Christmas. You know what this means, right? I've survived more than two weeks of this forsaken month without being barraged by holiday jingles and other commercial crap!

"Oh, so you're one of THOSE people, the ones that can't appreciate holiday cheer" --you

I can only assume this is the German equivalent

Yo, like you can't just say that mayne. Check your privilege.

So the question that's been gripping my mind for the better half of this month has been the future direction of this blog: Do I continue being an edgy goofball, or start doing lame crappy serious posts?
Okay, I wasn't actually thinking about that the whole month, but the answer is quite clear.
Making goofy, meme-filled posts with witty remarks takes actual creative muscle and thought, whereas in lame crappy posts I am merely repeating the events of the day.
I've decided to do a little bit of both for this post, so here's the lame crappy part. storytime start!

A brief brush with mortality

This'll be a little divergence from my usual edgelord trollfest, as I feel I need to get this little story down before I forget.

I could have died last Sunday. Or, the Sunday before last. July 10th, 2016 to be exact.

Close Encounters with the dad whacker

"Haha that dog looks so autistic" --me, a couple days ago

The other day, I heard a colleague of mine say the acronym GIP, which stands for generic information system or something. But he actually said the letters out loud.

Yes. That's right. He said Gee I Pee.

I was going to say this out loud too, but then I remembered we were adults having a mature conversation. So I suppressed my laughter- very poorly I think, I have been told that I am terrible at concealing my smile.

time is wasting

"Are you the manager of this blog? Then you suck!" --everyone

It's close to 9 in the morning as I write this, and I am just dying to know why the door to the women's restroom is pinned open. The lights are flickering, a sure sign that it's a Matrix-style demonic possession trap. I'm running on battery despite the fact that there is a suitable power port not more than 5 feet away. 

So yeah, long time no see huh. You know that feeling you get sometimes, when you should really be doing some kinda work right now, but instead you feel like starting up another update post on that old blag you completely forgot about more than half a year ago? That's how I felt yesterday as I went through my afternoon ablutions, then decided to put off procrastination until now.

*8 minutes until imminent doom.*

What a pro, right. Just kidding, procrastinating on procrastinating is the exact opposite of being pro. Anyway, just wanted to let my non-existent audience know I'm still alive. Unfortunately I'm too lazy to post some funny picture to make this post worth your time. 

Uh. Flying cheeseburgers. Terrible.

*4 minutes until imminent doom.*

I really need to get more sleep. kthxbai

boonga boonga

Grumpy Monkey

Daylight Savings Time is an American core value, despite its peculiarities. The actual time period that we are in savings mode is more than half the year(8 months), so shouldn't it be called standard time and the rest of the year be called, I don't know, Daylight Not-Saving time? Daylight Wasting Time sounds like a great name to me but puts forth some unfortunate implications about the work ethics here in Eagleland.

Anyways, if you listen to the radio often, you may have noticed that announcers have coined the term "Grumpy Monday" to refer to today, as apparently many people have had their schedules thrown out of whack by the 1 hour adjustment making them very grumpy. This has almost meaningless to me. I'm grumpy on every Monday morning, and I don't schedule anything. It really has more to do with the lack of sleep for me, and the interrupted sleep cycles for everyone else. Learn2sleep plan schedule scrubs.

To continue on my serious streak, I think I'll tell you the story of how I came to Eagleland. Are you prepared for some serious drama? Well, here it is:

I was born here. The End. 

This post was originally supposed to be about something else, something I told a certain someone I'd do, but I'm too grumpy, so it'll have to wait. Maybe when I'm not grumpy I'll give you the non-serious version of my story. It'll have Tidus' laugh and everything.

don't touch sandvich

You know that feeling when you take a bite out of a big sandwich, like one of those high quality Subway things, and your teeth pull out the entire slab of meat or tomatoes? I really hate when that happens, it leaves the two pieces of bread an empty husk of what the sandwich used to be. It's a really terrible thing that shouldn't have to happen to anyone. Well, maybe my worst enemy. Serves them right for eating Safeway. 

How was I supposed to know seaweed eats babies?

But recently, I've been thinking about this phenomenon. Could it be that sandwiches are independent, living organisms? The meat/tomatoes falling out could be a survival mechanism, akin to an animal biting off its own limbs to escape a deadly trap. Except that we usually end up eating the rest of the sandwich anyway. It's just that it feels much more like a chore, an obligation that we must soldier through. Maybe in a couple hundred years we'll have stopped eating sandwiches outright because they take too much effort to enjoy properly.

Speaking of obligations, I started off this post about food because I went to a buffet again today. Now if you've read about my last buffet adventure this may be unsettling news to you. But don't worry, I won't be subjecting you to a vibrating ninja turtle this time.

Instead of an Asian style buffet, it was a "normal" buffet, about as normal as it gets here in Eagleland. I didn't have to make many difficult decisions about what animal's legs were the most delicious (obviously homo sapiens but not every place offers that). I managed to get in 4 full plates of stuff this time instead of the usual 2, but I suspect that was because the plates themselves were smaller. 

They must be self-conscious about all the fat people in this country to do that. Maybe they read that book, Baffleton's Chungergames(an important source of inspiration for this blog's underlying concepts) (just kidding there's no relation), where the main character girl got upset that people liked to take drugs and vomit while the other people were sad. 

I think they took the wrong moral from that story. The moral isn't that we should try not to steer society in a direction that would create that situation one day or anything like that. That's ridiculous. The moral is that when its party time(Wayne's World!), you'll give it THE BEST YOU'VE GOT. If that means vomiting, you puke it up to your stomach's delight! Don't let stuck up self proclaimed heroines (notice how heroine sounds like a popular drug) like the Rockinggay tell you how to have your fun!

Now, you may be wondering, what is my next post going to be about? Well, if you're reading this more than a week after I wrote this, you already know so I don't really have to tell you. But for you nostalgic fellows who enjoy living in the past, I'm just going to warn you now that its going to be a very significant break from the usual goofball dramatic tone in most of my posts. Maybe I'll even tell you the story of how I came to Eagleland. But no matter what is, you can be sure that it's more serious. OR IS IT???

Hmm, I still seemed to wolf down a lot more food than I did at the last buffet adventure. My stomach barely survived that ordeal. But it's alright, it's mind over matter, mind over matter, mastermind over dark matter. Besides, I learned an odd tidbit fact(doctors HATE him!) in health class or some nutrition website: Apparently the human digestive system has a significant degree of what I call "sensor lag", or "stomach lag". When you start eating something, it can take up to 15, 20, maybe even 30 minutes from the time you swallow before your stomach actually registers that food has entered your system. Going off that analogy of lag, it'll take the same amount of time after you've stopped eating for your stomach to register that its full, or more than full, or explodey levels of full. Wait, isn't that right about no-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Interruptio

A few days ago I was walking down the street with some bros, trying to explain something I found interesting to one of my friends(well now you know I'm making this up, I have no friends) when this other friend just cuts in and interrupts me! How inconsiderate! The exchange went sort of like this:

Me: "...but you see, the major obstacle that's been hampering my progress in achieving ambidextrosity(this is not the right word for the concept, or even a real word for that matter) is the way that the furniture here is arraigned, like this, THIS CHAIR-"

Certain other guy: "yo man I like chairs and I'mma let you finish but hey first friend, do you think you can do this random thing, at this date and time?"
 
first friend: "uh I think so"
 
He then turns to me in a poor imitation of Samantha M. Jackson, saying "Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?" while putting his hand on my shoulder.

I ain't even mad though. It wasn't really that important for others to know anyway.
 
Protip: Whenever I drink tomato or vegetable juice, it always leaves red stains and small amounts of goop on the inside of the cup. I feel too lazy to wash the cup, so what I do instead is pour milk into it until it's full, then drink that up. The milk clears out all the stuff left behind from the juice.

Today when I was at Jeepers, I went to the bathroom while I was waiting for the food to be served. As soon as I walked through the door I almost did a double take at the handsome face staring back....in the mirror. Holy crap I am so beautiful. That smooth silky hair, that lovely complexion...yeah you wish I posted photography of myself here, too bad.