Himbleshivs

Ugh, the desk I'm sitting at has "swag" written all over it. There's even a bunch of swag "equations". Writing on the desk wood is uncool folks, especially when swag is involved.
This was the only place I could find, because everyone wants their own personal study room. Anyway, I'll be back after these messages.  *elevator music starts*

 This week's delay has been brought to you by.....general laziness!

Reviving a perennial classic loved by breakfast enthusiasts all over the world, we are proud to announce that 1337 cereal is once again on the market! Grab a box at a hypermarket near you! Or far from you. Just don't get it from Amazon, you rich white pig.

 A few days ago I went to the bus stop, only to find a horde of people already gathered around the exact spot where the bus door was going to be. It was a wonder they weren't all spilling over the curb. Man, I get there 20 minutes early and still couldn't beat the crowd. Then I remembered, wait, I still could, just gotta grab a plastic paddle and aim for the center of mass!

While I was waiting there, I saw a guy walk over and do some sort of bro handshake with a friend. They had the following conversation:
"Hey man, you taking the bus too?"
"Yeah, we're all poor here."

What! Does that mean I'm poor?!?!?!? I'm gonna set the blender to "extra pulpy" if you know what I mean. Who are they to decide my socioeconomic status!? 
GGRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I knew I shouldn't have barbecued those carrots.