Ketchup is for plebeians

I was sitting at a table, minding my own business(srs bsns if u know wut I meen) when this man offensively barges in and asks, "Hi, is somebody- are you using this chair?"
To which I replied "Of course I am, I happen to be sitting in it at this very moment."
"No, I mean this one." He indicated the chair on the other side of the table.
"Yes, I'll be sitting in that one in a few minutes."
This confused him for the 10 seconds I needed to make- UGH THAT PILLAR LOOKS DISGUSTING

its certainly not made of trabaharis

Sorry I got distracted there. Anyways, I was drinking orange juice, but it usually reacts with my stomach acid to create a vile mixture that burns my mouth during spontaneous regurgitation actions, making me regret having such a good breakfast. Thus when I went to refill my cup I chose to have apple juice instead. 

Sometimes, you just have these moments in life, the ones you want to save, archive, commit to memory and cherish forever. I want to tell you about one I had just a few days ago. I was brushing my teeth, hopping around like a madman to take my mind off the facts that my bladder was full to bursting and the lack of a nearby restroom while half singing, half embarrassed-humming Space Jam Misery by Maroon Johnny.

Also, I have some great news: The Leaguemans nickname page is finally up! Well, hopefully it is by the time you read this. Which is probably several years after I wrote this. :(

PS. Trabaharis is an inside joke. If you're outside and want to be let in, too bad. Train's gone, Pool's closed, etc.