Creative strain

So I had this acquaintance named Caleb who said something a long time ago that I just remembered yesterday. I feel safe mentioning his name here because there's no way he or anyone he knows will ever read this. Here's what he said:

"See, this is the smacks kids mating ritual: one stands guard while the other two....do whatever."

His imagination was so limited he couldn't think of something weird enough to say instead of "whatever"! Fortunately I am much more creative than that.

...

Were you actually interested? I'm not going to judge.

Anyways, I really meant to post this 3 or 4 days ago but the pressure to be creative was just too high. Just kidding, laziness kicked in. 
If anyone asks you if it was worth the wait, you should answer 
"No, it was not worth waiting for at all, this guy sucks" 
but no one's going to ask you that because you probably don't eagerly wait on my next post and you haven't told anyone else about this blog you LOSER! 

Go tell at least 10 people you know about this blog right now, or else.....um.....the lunar surface will crack open and spawn a new age of dinosaurs just like in Game of Thrones, and the place where you live will be converted into an emergency escape rocket for all the poor peoples of the earth. With you still inside it. 
They'll all cram inside squeezing you to a pulp, and the rocket will blast off but then malfunction immediately after leaving the atmosphere, exposing you to the unbridled wrath of the eldritch abomination known only as the Space Hobo Horse of scarce toiletries. It rips its victims out of the slowly decompressing rocket one by one, saving you for last. You will be plunged into the everlasting torment of taking a dump without toilet paper or running water while miniature dodos tickle you for eternity.

uh....and that would be bad. 

After typing that and reading it over I realized you might be a bit depressed from reading about that, so I should probably post a funny picture to cheer you up. But NO, you deserve to be depressed, because that's what your fate shall be if you don't listen.

The lesser known 5th horseman(woman?) of the apocalypse

 On a lighter note, I figured out where Baker Cat comes from. This blog called Pusheen the Cat is entirely made up of animated GIF images of the fat cat in question. Even the text is animated, sort of. 

Here's one I particularly liked: http://pusheen.com/post/38254768792

Pusheen is what spawned the quote "If I were tiny I would sleep on a marshmellow" which someone set as their Skype status, at least the last time I was on Skype. Do you like to use Skype? Because I don't, and if you do, this will happen to you:

 

 Disclaimer: Gentlemen do not set vacuum cleaners on fire....yeah I have mixed feelings about Skype.